Im happy you got to see your Mom! I know you and your mom are as close as me and mine - that's sweet.
Not too much on the farm end. I told you about the wwoofer switch, besides that I've been being really introspective.
I gotta challenge myself to do something big Mike. I cant walk around with this feeling like I've never pushed myself to my full potential. When I ask : What would happen that moment you stepped into Ali's shoes? If 99% of people are not willing to do what it takes to accomplish their dream, what percentage am I in? I need to make a commitment to stay out of my own way.
I felt really corny this afternoon. Embarrassed. A long series of (not serious) events led me to understand how socially inept I am. I've never given myself to be assimilated socially. I've been living as if the entirety of the world revolved around me for 4 decades. Corny? what a wake up call..
I had a flash of a scene where someone is sitting across the table says: "Get with the program."
The word childish comes to mind. Fuck. I really am a 40 year old spoiled brat.
I've been thinking about self discipline. How to remind myself that its the only term for self love. To have self esteem to feel good about myself comes from my day to day habits. I need to take responsibility to commit to healthy practices. I don't think the universe is gonna pull another rabbit out of a hat if I fuck up again.
The only thing I can think of is focusing on humility. Use my shame to humble myself.
I promise you one thing, Im done with that ashamed feeling. From this day on.
Thanks for reading.
